Misfortune
by ghostwriter122
Summary: Kem leaves a forlorn Carter behind as she journies off to the Congo once again. Finished CARBY. READ AND REVIEW! Finished
1. Chapter One

**Misfortune**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything…

~*~

Abby was lying in bed staring at the ceiling.  

She couldn't sleep.

The gray light that was entering the bedroom from beneath the bathroom door offered no consolation and she turned her back on it, letting the darkness encompass her.

It was 2:13am.

"Two plus one is three," she muttered to herself as she tried to will herself into slumber, trying to rid of herself of her thoughts, "two plus one is three… two plus one is three."  It was not working.  Reminding herself of the time only reminded her that she wasn't asleep, reminding her of why she couldn't sleep.

"Come on, I have a shift tomorrow, I can't be awake now," she thought.

She knew why she couldn't sleep.

~*~

_"Abby!" it was Carter.  She turned around to face him, to give him her attention.  _

_She could tell something was wrong._

_She could tell he had been crying._

_She knew him well enough to know._

_"Carter, what's wrong?" she asked as he slowed to a halt before her._

_"It's…" He stopped talking suddenly; his breathing was ragged._

_She eyed him worriedly._

_"Are you okay?" Carter suddenly looked hesitant.  Hadn't he just called her name? She looked at him nervously again._

_"Do you want to talk about something?" she asked finally.  Since he left to __Africa__, they hadn't done much talking.  He had been pretty preoccupied with Kem and all, and she with juggling med school and nursing shifts.  There hadn't been much time for anything._

_"Do you want to go for coffee and pie?" she asked with a friendly grin.  Why couldn't he just tell her what was wrong?  Frank was now looming over them, chewing his doughnut loudly in her ear.  Carter nodded apprehensively and Abby told Frank she was on a break for fifteen minutes._

_"So…" she prompted him as they sat across from each other in the booth at _Ike's_.  He still hadn't said anything._

_"Carter?" she looked at him, the crease between her eyebrows intensifying, "Carter, I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong." Carter nodded and swallowed hard._

_"You can't tell anyone," he muttered and she could tell he was holding back tears.  She nodded encouragingly._

_"Don't worry," she said, curling her hands around her mug._

_"There's… there's no baby," he said finally, his tears standing in his eyes._

_"Oh, I'm so sorry, Carter.  Did Kem miscarry?" and surprisingly, she was genuinely sorry. Carter shook his head and Abby eyed him curiously, but her common sense told her not to prompt him to say anything if he wasn't ready._

_"There…" he took a deep breath, "there never was any baby."  Abby looked at him, surprised, her curiosity building inside her.  She could tell this was torturing him and she wanted to comfort him.  She wanted to somehow be able to make this all better for him.  But she couldn't. She couldn't do anything.  And it tortured her to know he was hurting._

_"What do you mean?" she asked him quietly, at last._

_"It was a lie," he said, shaking his head and letting a tear slip down his cheek._

_"But the sonogram… Kem said…"_

_"It was all a lie.  The sonogram results weren't hers.  She lied to me, Abby.  There never was any baby."  _

_Abby had never felt sorrier for him than right at this moment.  His hands were fidgeting with his fork and he was staring intently at something in his pie.  But she knew he was crying.  And she knew that his heart was shattering in his chest._

_She took his shaking hands in her own strong ones and he faced her.  _

_"I'm sorry," she said and her voice was genuine.  All the hatred that she had welled up inside of her, all of the anger and contempt that she had felt since receiving the letter… it was all gone.  It was replaced, instead, by an overwhelming sense of sorrow, "I'm really really sorry."_

~*~

Abby lay in bed reliving the conversation in her mind.  She couldn't sleep.  Something was bothering her and she couldn't quite place her finger on it.  But she knew it had to do with Carter.

She rolled over again, facing the clock.

It was 2:45am and yet, her hand still reached for the phone, dialing the memorized number and cradling the phone against her ear.

"Hello?" she heard a tortured, upset voice and she could tell he hadn't been sleeping either.


	2. Chapter Two

**Misfortune**

~*~

"Hi, Carter…?"  She heard him rustling at the other end.  Suddenly, she was very weary of what she was doing.  Why was she calling him at quarter to three in the morning?  He would think she was crazy… and rightfully so.

"Abby? Is that you?" his voice sounded somewhat relieved and more attentive.  She nodded forlornly into the phone before remembering that he couldn't see her.

"Yeah… yeah, it's me."

"Is something wrong?" he asked and she felt even more stupid for calling him.

"Nothing's wrong.  I don't even know why I called. I'm sorry to wake you, I should go now…" she didn't want to hang up, though.

"No, no… don't worry, I wasn't asleep," his voice was somewhat reassuring.

Abby hesitated, staring out the window of her room onto the busy street and not saying anything at all, just listening to his soft breathing.  

And suddenly, she felt very tired.

Abby fiddled with the phone cord and looked around the room before stifling a yawn.

"Listen, Carter? I'm really sorry for calling…"

"Abby, remember how we used to talk?" he said suddenly, cutting her off.  He caught her off-guard and it took her a few seconds to understand what he was saying.  He was right, of course, and Abby had noticed it too, their cease in confiding in each other, "I'm sorry I had to ruin that." Abby was getting a little uncomfortable.

"Things change, Carter, it's nobody's fault," she said as she looked around her darkened room.

"Well, I blame myself.  And I blame myself for sending you that letter," Abby chuckled scornfully, "it was inconsiderate of me.  I threw away everything I knew and loved for the mother of my nonexistent child…" there was a distinct hatred in his voice and Abby resorted once more to feeling sorry for him.

"Where is she now?" she whispered.  She didn't want to put him at unease, but she was curious.

"Probably scampering around Africa with the money I gave her," his tone was disdainful, "the money she stole," he concluded, his voice shaking in rage.

"I'm sorry I asked," she apologized softly.

"No, it's okay, I have to get it out of my system somehow. But I can't believe I let this happen. I can't believe she just slipped through my fingers and I believed her. I believed every word she uttered. I adored her, Abby.  I was so happy. You can't understand how happy I was…"  Though Abby had missed their friendship, though hearing him confide in her was nice, she didn't understand why he was telling her all this.  Just a week ago, they had been like strangers, just a few months ago he had been in the Congo.

She heard him take a deep breath and she knew he was crying again.  This was like losing a child for him.

"Time heals all wounds," she said and she scolded herself immediately for saying something that sounded so stupid. Carter chuckled.

"You don't understand what it's like to lose a child…" he said, his voice racked with sobs.

"Carter, it'll be okay.  Trust me," she said softly, remembering the unborn child she had lost.

~*~

Abby approached the hospital the next morning, coffee clutched in her hand.  Her eyelids were drooping against her will; she hadn't slept much the night before.

She and Carter had been on the phone for nearly a half an hour afterward, just chatting about insignificant details in their daily lives.  Abby had mentioned a patient she had treated the day before, the weather, etc.  Carter had added his thoughts and his own observations.  Altogether, it had been a pleasant conversation.

Problem was that it had been 3 o'clock in the morning.

She hung her coat in her locker and sat on the sofa in the lounge for a few moments, waiting for her pounding headache to subside a little bit, before stepping into the hectic realm of the ER.

Carter didn't show up until nearly noon and Abby cursed him silently in her mind for having a shift that allowed him to sleep in.  He waved her in salutation and she smiled back at him from the chart she was filling out at admit.

"How long have you been here for?" he asked as he pulled off his gloves and eyed the full board.

"Just about four hours."

"Four hours! Abby, I can't believe you let me keep you up all night!" he exclaimed.  Frank, who was observing from behind them piped up,

"And what exactly were you doing to her last night?  Shouldn't you be up in OBGYN with the last girl you knocked up?" Carter's face screwed up into a pained expression and Abby tried to console him wordlessly.

"Shut up, Frank," she snapped as she faced Carter and rolled her eyes, trying to ease the uncomfortable situation.  Carter sauntered away from admit. towards the lounge, but Abby could tell he was hurt.

"You're an ass-hole, Frank," she said as she followed him, in hopes of being able to cheer him up somewhat.


	3. Chapter Three

**Misfortune**

~*~

Abby stormed after Carter into the lounge.

Carter was sitting on the sofa, his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Carter…" he didn't even acknowledge her presence.

"Carter, look at me," she said, trying to make him listen.  He didn't move.  She sat next to him, rubbing her hand up and down his back, trying to console him, but he wouldn't listen.

"I'm such an idiot," he muttered into his hands.

"No, you're not."

"I am.  I tricked myself into thinking I loved her, I tricked myself into being happy and now, all these waves of regret are drowning me.  And I don't know what to do."  She sat quietly beside him.  She didn't want to break the silence and make him uncomfortable.

Was it evil to be happy he needed her?

"It'll be okay," she said, trying to sound reassuring and the sugary fakeness of her voice disgusted even her.

"No, no, it won't.  How am I supposed to face them all?"  He lifted his face from his hands and looked her in the eye, "They'll mock me.  They'll taunt me.  They won't understand."

"Carter, I don't think you're a fool. Me.  Of all people.  I was the person who was most disapproving of your relationship and I don't think any less of you now."  He rested his head on her shoulder and she liked the way it felt.  She hadn't been this close with someone in a long time.

"Abby, you're different.  You're… you're my best friend.  You understand a lot of things that other people don't."  She didn't know what to say so they sat in a comfortable silence, Carter resting his head on her shoulder and she rubbing his back softly.

They sat like that for a while before Abby got up to continue her shift, stretching her muscles as she left the lounge and closed the door softly behind her.

~*~

Later that evening, on her way out of the hospital, Abby bumped into Carter for the first time since their meeting in the lounge.

"Hey, Abby," he said, looking at his hands.

"Yeah?"

"You want to catch dinner or something tomorrow?" Abby was taken aback.  Was he asking her out?  She was suddenly very uncomfortable.  She liked their friendship, but she had already witnessed the disastrous consequences of a serious relationship with him.

"What, you mean like a date?" she asked jokingly, dreading his response.

"Yeah," he said in all seriousness, still staring at his hands, "something like that."

"Carter…" she began.  Why did he have to do this to her? If she said no he would be hurt, and if she said yes, she'd be lying.

"I'm flattered that you ask. But, I feel like I'd be a fall-upon.  You just broke up with Kem, she hurt you and you need someone to make up for it.  Someone that you can hang out. And I don't mind being your friend, Carter. I'll always be your friend, but I feel like starting a relationship would be rushing things and later we'd both regret it and I don't want you to be something I regret." She said it in all sincerity and she hoped that she hadn't hurt him.

He nodded sheepishly and didn't look up from his downward glance.

"It's okay," he muttered finally, "I was kind of hoping you'd say no." Abby smiled sadly at the figure before her.  He was hurting inside and she knew it.

"Carter, it's going to be okay," she said firmly and she kissed him lightly on the cheek before leaving the hospital with Carter watching her go.


	4. Chapter Four

**Misfortune**

A/N: Sorry for the massive delay in updates… I'll try to be better now!

~*~

Abby ran her fingers over the small crease in the picture.  The white indent on the paper broke his otherwise unblemished face.  She stared at it, taking in his every feature.  His deep brown eyes that could contain no emotion in secrecy, his tiny spray of freckles that were impossible to see outside of very intimate situations, his perfect ears and his annoyingly pointed nose that, however comical it would seem on any other face, suited his perfectly.

He looked so innocent, so young, so happy.

She sighed as she put the picture back into her pocket where it had been for months now, its edges creasing and her own fingerprints distorting its glossy furbish.

Carter.

The picture had been taken before Kem.  He was standing by the river and Abby had claimed that she 'just had to finish her film', snapping the picture of him as the sun set on the water.  It had developed beautifully, the red tones of the sun on the slightly rippling waters framing his brown locks and contouring his delicate features.

She loved that picture.  She had gotten a double.  And he had probably forgotten all about it.  It had seemed so insignificant at the time but was now so precious.

She walked into the hospital bay with the picture imprinted in her memory.  She could feel the brisk air of the evening, though it was quite mild outside.  She could hear his deep chuckles as she told him of her comical patient.  She could see his smile and the stars that seemed to dance across his eyes when he took delight in anything.

She could see him as he was.

As he had been.

And she was saddened when she thought of how he had changed.

~*~

"Abby, we need you in trauma green!" 

She dropped the chart she had been just about to pick up and followed Susan to the trauma room where a teenage stab wound patient lay bleeding and unresponsive.  This day was already starting to depress her and she had only just begun.

Nearly an hour later, after the young girl had been declared dead, Abby decided she needed a break.  

Coffee seemed so tempting just then and she told Frank to give her fifteen minutes, when he grunted back his inarticulate response, Abby pulled off the trauma gloves and went to grab her coat from the lounge on her way to 'Ike's'.

She ran into him just as she was walking across the ambulance bay.

She was pulling her gloves out of her pockets, when something else fell from her pocket and blew about three feet to her right.  She was just turning to grab it when he approached her.  He had it in his hand.

He had seen it.

She felt herself blushing.  He face was getting hot despite the small chill in the autumn air.  She put out her hand to take back the picture, but he was staring down at it, seemingly captivated and obviously uninterested in returning it just then.

She was screaming at him inside her head, desperate to just get the picture back so she could run far away in shame, but he stood there and in doing so, forced her to stand there expectantly.

"I remember this," he said softly after a moment or two that felt like a decade.

"Yeah," she answered, her shame forcing her to bit her tongue, "nice picture."  He nodded in agreement and looked at her.

"I didn't know it would come out this good.  I remember wanting to ask you about it, but always forgetting until I was alone at night, or running around in the Congo.  That was a nice night."

Abby sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, it was."

"Well, here," he handed her the picture, but as she took it from his hand, he tightened his grasp on it for just a second before letting her have it.

"You know what? I have another copy.  You can have this," she said graciously.  He looked at her carefully and she could feel herself blush deeper.

She felt as though he was seeing through his skin and right into her soul, his gaze was so intense.

"Thank you," he whispered finally and she nodded.


	5. Chapter Five

**Misfortune**

~*~

When Abby came back from her coffee break, the hospital was alive with whispers and secrets.  She could see the nurses huddling in small, tight circles, their faces alive with curiosity, their jabbering and gossiping just out of her range of hearing.

She approached the desk, curiosity apparent on her face.

"It's Kem and Carter," Susan said dryly.  Susan seemed to be the only doctor unimpressed with – or at least uninterested in --   the news that was going around, "They broke it off. Apparently the baby was a lie."  

Abby tried to look surprised but she knew that Susan knew that she wasn't.

"Where's Carter?" she said finally.  She hadn't seen him amidst the cliques of gossiping nurses and doctors.

"Lounge," Susan replied, "but he said he doesn't want to see anyone." 

Abby turned resolutely toward the lounge, ignoring Susan's last comment and approached the door.  She was a little bit worried that it would be locked or that he really wouldn't let her in, but on the other hand, she felt that she of all people would be allowed in. She decided that, accepted or not, she would go and talk to him.

She knocked a few times, the clear banging of her fist on the glass resonating into the room.  She knew he could hear.

"Carter, it's Abby, let me in!" Nothing.

"Carter, I know you can hear me.  I'm not here to chastise you or to make you answer stupid imploring questions, I just want to talk and you know it!" her voice was becoming shrill and she was aware of a sudden end to the whispering behind her.  All eyes were on her and the door she faced.

She heard the soft click of the lock in the door being opened and she pushed it ajar quietly.  She heard a new bought of gossip, much more vivid than the last and she knew they were discussing her and Carter with revitalized energy, but she didn't care.  With a glint of satisfaction that no one ever saw, she entered the lounge to comfort her distraught and shamed friend.

"Hey," she whispered.  He grunted a response as he stared resolutely out the window into the empty ambulance bay.  She knew he was trying to hide his tears.  She approached him quietly, but he backed away from her.

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing. You don't deserve it, but sometimes things that we don't deserve happen.  Good things and bad things.  Maybe something good will come out of all this." He laughed harshly for second before quieting into a thoughtful silence.

"They're all talking about me, aren't they? How I was so manipulated, how I'm so stupid. And it's true."

"They're talking about Kem, Carter.  About how what she did to you was so awful.  Carter, no one thinks any of those things about you. They all know you too well to believe it. Now, maybe you were a little rash, but everyone does thoughtless things sometimes.  No one thinks any less of you."

 "Thanks, Abby."  She nodded slightly and gazed directly into his eyes.

"I'm not lying, Carter."

He approached her slowly and pulled her into a momentary hug.  She smiled at him as he walked toward the door of the lounge.

"I have to set them all straight," he said firmly and he left her there watching with that silly grin on her face that she couldn't seem to wipe off.

~*~

The gossip in the ER had reached an all-time after Carter's 'setting them all straight' and Abby heard them buzzing about how he was sure to do something irrational because of this, how Kem had stolen all his money and he was now a poor street-beggar.  But gradually, by late afternoon, after a surgical nurse mentioned Elizabeth Corday's entrance that morning on the arm of a good-looking new surgeon, the gossip quieted and shifted its attention to Dr. Corday and her new fling. 

Abby caught bits of conversations:

"She insists this one's not married, but she didn't really know about the last one's wife either, did she?"

"I heard she did, she was just trying to convince him to get a divorce for her."

"Oh, that's awful!"

But as none of them seemed to have to do with Carter, she was much relieved, though she did tell Connie, rather harshly, that she was _sure_ Elizabeth was not turning into a rampant sex-fiend.

~*~

Abby was late leaving the hospital that evening.  She had just been on her way out when a multi-victim trauma came in and she was forced to help out.  For nearly half an hour, the patient hovered between Sinus- and V-tach and Weaver hadn't let her leave until the patient was one hundred percent stable.

She approached the lounge lazily, her exhaustion now taking its toll on her, her legs felt heavy and her eyelids drooped.  She sauntered down to the ambulance bay once she had retrieved her coat and bag and, completely unaware of the figure beside her, proceeded to the El station.

"Hey, earth to Abby," a hand waved in front of her face and called her back to attention.  She turned to face Susan.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Just tired.  Didn't sleep much last night."

"Want a lift home?" Abby smiled and nodded, though she knew she had just contracted herself to twenty minutes worth of Susan questioning her about Carter.

She had barely strapped herself into the car before she heard,

"So, what's up with you and Carter?"


	6. Chapter Six

**Misfortune**

~*~

Abby sighed as she stepped out of Susan's car. Susan had meant well, of course, but her constant chatter and interrogation into what she called the 'Abby and Carter Soap' made irritated Abby and didn't make spending time with Susan very enjoyable.

Abby readjusted the strap of her purse and walked up to her apartment, lost in thought.

She was thinking mainly about Carter, of course.  Lately, he had been the only thing she _could_ think about, for some reason that was unknown to her.

~*~

A few weeks later, Abby sat in front of the television watching as the city's petty criminals were arrested, as world issues were discussed and as the Blackhawks lost the Stanley Cup once again.

The phone rang incessantly and she switched off the news.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Abby? It's Carter." She grinned.  She knew exactly who it was.

"Hey, Carter. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Carter, what's wrong? Why did you call? Where are you?" There was a momentary pause.

"Standing outside your door," he replied sheepishly.

Abby chuckled to herself as she opened the door to a blushing Carter who was holding a bouquet of flowers.  God, he was so cute when he blushed.

"Hey, Carter."

"Hi, Abby." He handed her the flowers. She took them and they stood staring at each other uncomfortably.

"Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly after a few seconds. Abby looked around her like a lost puppy. Where was her hospitality?  She nodded and gestured into the room behind her, closing the door as he stepped inside.

She cleared her throat.

"Let me just put these in water," she said, her voice sounded odd.  She found a vase and watched Carter standing in the hall as she filled it with water.

"Take a seat," she called to him from the kitchen as she turned off the tap, "Make yourself at home." He nodded obediently and took off his coat before flopping down on the couch.

"So," she said, placing the flowers on a table and taking a seat next to him, throwing him the quilt she kept on the couch in case he got cold, "What's up?"

Carter looked around.

"Nice place."

"Hasn't changed much since the last time you were here," she snorted, but she sounded more amused than sarcastic.

"Yeah, but I never took the time to really look around.  I always just took it for granted."

"Well, thanks," she said, growing weary.  She was always somewhat bashful when he mentioned her belongings because it reminded her of his lavish and indulgent lifestyle at the mansion and how poor she was compared to it.

"How was work?" he asked her, plunging into a discussion about nothing.  

"It was okay.  Lots of blood today. More than usual."

"I hate it when that happens.  I used to be scared of blood, believe it or not." Abby looked at his lop-sided grin and she found herself smiling unconsciously.

"Yeah, I think everyone goes through a stage like that. Except Eric.  He always loved blood.  I'm not sure why, but he did. Everyone thought he would be the doctor of the family, the way he used to read up about different diseases and play doctor with all his friends.  (She saw Carter's grin) Not like that, Carter! Yeah, but I guess things change."

"How is Eric?" She knew he felt it his duty his ask.

"He called a few weeks ago and he seemed to be fine.  He's working, which is good."  Carter nodded understandingly.

"Listen," Carter said, she could tell by his tone that he was growing serious, "I've been thinking a lot lately. When Kem left, (he could talk about without cringing now) I was devastated.  But you helped me through it.  You stood by me.  At first, I thought maybe you were right.  Maybe my attraction to you had stemmed from the fact that I needed someone to rely on.  But it hasn't changed.  I've always adored you, Abby.  And, well, I thought you should know, even if you decide not to accept, that I want you, Abby and I truly do believe that we could make a relationship work.  I let you go once, and look what happened.  I can't let you go again."

Abby felt a lump in her throat.

These past few weeks had been great.  They had done everything together from watching hockey games with their socked feet resting on her sofa as they ate pizza and coke and discussed the players' agility, skill, etc. to going to movies and discussing the upcoming Oscars.  Abby had amazed that Carter knew all about the Academy Awards.  She had always imagined more as women's terrain.  But she enjoyed predicting the outcome of the ceremony and what each nominee would wear with him.

They had walked by the river with ice cream or coffee or any of a number of portable foods.

They had returned to their comfortable tradition of coffee and pie at Ike's.

Their friendship had blossomed and yet, the whole time, Abby had wanted something more.

Now here he was offering it to her.

Should she accept?

She continued to look at him, in stunned disbelief.  She had lived this so many times in her imagination.

Suddenly, she felt herself smiling and she wrapped her arms around the figure before her.  She felt his arms take her into their own embrace and then they were kissing and she could hardly breathe.

She could remember kissing him before, and yet, she marveled over the way his every touch and caress managed to make something within her stir.

When they pulled apart, breathing heavily, Abby saw something in his eyes that told her that this time it _would_ work.

"Carter, I'm so happy you came tonight," she said finally. And, smiling, he replied,

"So am I."

~*~

A/N: I was getting so bored of this story, so please forgive me for ending it so abruptly.


End file.
